My Truth

CONTENT/ TIGGER WARNING: This post contains descriptions of violence, abuse and sex-trafficking.

As we wandered slowly through the grounds of our new home, I bubbled over with excitement pointing out the different amenities and areas of the property. Angel smiled and laughed the entire walk, his countenance lit up like Paris at night. I still can’t believe this is real, but I will relish in the moments I have.

With a jovial bound in my step, I called out the animals and waved at the staff as we continued. “And we have gardeners and everything, assuming we keep them with us. Oh Angel! It’s just perfect.” We arrived at a cozy nook of the garden and sat on a bench together. “You’re quiet. Is everything okay?”

He smiled at me, “I am fine, my love….simply thinking is all.”

I gazed up at him inquisitively, “What about?”

“You asked me to teach you about our lives…”

I nodded in reply, answering simply with a “Mhm…”

He slipped his jacket off and popped the button on his shirt sleeve. Neatly rolling up the fabric to expose the scars that littered the flesh beneath. “It is time you learned to spot the ones responsible for these, Fen.”

Gulping at the turn in conversation my face dropped as I watched him.

“Fortunately, they are mostly easy to spot.”

I nodded in silence, waiting for him to continue.

“The first thing you will notice, is that they always travel in pairs – mostly for protection.”

“What..who are they?” I asked softly.

He seemed to be struggling to speak when he replied through gritted teeth, “….Hunters…”

Having only movies and other pop-culture references to go on, I asked him, “Like VanHelsing shit?” He smiled slightly, but kept the conversation serious.

“If that is easier for you to understand this, then yes.”

I shrugged, “ I mean… I could have said Sam and Dean.” I chuckled, attempting to lighten the mood.

“Hmmm…” he smirked. “No…worse.”

“Yeah, he’s too hot to be scary.” I grinned, knowing he was thinking of some scene of Dean in his head and winked at him coyly.

“He did have those rather wonderful black eyes though….” He shot back, causing me to blush.  He cleared his throat before continuing. “Anyway…”

Shifting to face him, realizing this was a serious topic and I needed to pay attention. “Yeah, anyways…sorry. I’m listening.”

“Good. Because they will kill you if they know what you are, Fen. Or worse, you will encounter ones who want to do what they did to me, to you .”

I nodded solemnly, gazing at him intently. 

“I am sorry to be so snappy, Fen, but I don’t want a Hunter taking away the second woman I have ever cared about like they did the first.”

“Then why have you waited so long to teach me?” I asked pointedly.

“Because it is not an easy subject for me. I know you need to learn, but I find it hard to talk of hunters.”

Inclining my head in understanding, I placed my hand on his arm in reassurance, the soft steady grip encouraging him to continue.

“Ella… they scarred me, they took away my first love, and it terrifies the living hell out of me that they might take my second. And that is something that will not happen if I can help it.”

“I.. I know. I stopped joking. I’m ready.”

“Okay. The easiest way to spot them is their eyes. They are always looking for you.”

“Pardon another pop culture reference, it’s what I know to use…but, like the guy from the show Grimm?”

He sat there for a moment trying to place the reference, then nodded, “Yes, if pop culture references help you, use them.”

With my focus and attention fully on him, I explained, “Sometimes..when I don’t have something historical to use, pop culture helps me understand.”

“The simple fact is, Fen, we are easy to spot compared to humans. They will spot you in a crowd due to one reason, something that is an unfortunate byproduct of vampirism.”

“So they use body temp? Like those heat sensor guns from tv?”

“No. Temperature is what they use to double check their suspicions.”

“Heart rate then?”

“No, but that is a good guess.”

My mind raced, unsure of what other device they may have. “Hmm, I’m all out of ideas.”

“Look at yourself, Fen.” He gestured up and down at my body, which left me feeling somehow cheapened. “That is how.”

I looked down at my hands, turning them over in observation, still unsure what he was implying. “I don’t get it…”

“You are perfect…humans aren’t.”

Thinking of all the scars all over my body, I snorted in amusement. “If you say so.”

“Ella, I know you have pain inside…” I rolled my eyes at him, clearly he had no clue what was going through my mind. “But outside you are the physically perfect version of yourself. As am I.”

“Are you saying my scars are also.in my head?”

“You have no scars outside. Trust me, my love, I have seen all of you. I know that you have no scars.”

I sighed, “Then why do I still see them?”

He paused for a moment, a pensive look on his face. “Maybe you are like me, you couldn’t let go of what happened to you. Still can’t.”

I muttered under my breath, images of ripping men’s throats out ran through my head. “I wish the fuckers were dead.” I shook my head and blinked hard, clearing the thoughts from my mind.

He frowned, but didn’t press me. “Once they see your looks, they will test you.”

I drew my attention back on Angel, “Ok, how?”

“That is something you already guessed. First they check your temperature. Then they make sure with a heart rate sensor.”

“But if we can teleport, how can they catch us?”

“They will test you from as far as possible to keep themselves safe. Then they will wait for you to make a mistake…” Angel trailed off as a thought ran though his mind. “Like we could have made in the club today. Shit.”

“I still don’t completely follow. How would they have gotten in? Don’t we have security for that?”

“They dress like anyone else. They wouldn’t get far with military uniforms or guns, would they?”

“But we don’t have a way to test their eyes when they come in, or something?”

“They have no augments. They only have very strict training. Which in itself is a sign – they walk like soldiers, they act like soldiers, and they make mistakes.”

I shuddered, “Don’t we all?”

“Yes, I made one earlier tonight and I need to fix it.”

“You?”

“Yes.”

“What happened? WE DIDN’T!?” My eyes widened in terror at the thought of the girl we left at the club. “Had I taken too much from her and killed her?”

“The girl. I didn’t wipe her memory.”

 “Oh.” I sighed in slight relief.

Angel frowned. “It makes her a liability, Ella.”

“I get that, but she’s not dead…like I thought you meant.”

“I love your heart,” he grinned at me. “Even if it doesn’t beat.”

I chuckled, “If only you knew the dark side of it, you wouldn’t say that.”

“I am the dark side of your heart. As you are the light of mine.”

I shook my head, dropping it a little. “The things I dream of…the things I want to do.”

Angel bore his fangs as a memory clearly flashed through his mind. “What you dream, what you wish to do, are no match for the things I have done. And never will be. I killed an entire room of people because they tried to sell drugs to a child. A child, Ella.”

“I..” Realizing he didn’t recognize me like I had previously thought, this may be the moment I needed to tell him who I was. “I could have been her… may have been.” I gazed back up at him, searching his face for it to connect.

“Let me be clear, Fen. I will tolerate some things, but I will rain hell upon those who hurt children. And make no mistake, I have left a river of blood in my wake made of those that have.”

“Then we share the same values.” I quickly turned away as more flashes of memories danced through my mind.

He sat in patient silence, giving me a moment with my thoughts. Finding my voice again, I murmured, “Can we just get back to the hunters, please?”

Angel frowned. “What did I say? What’s wrong, my love?” He questioned, taking my hand.

“It’s ok… Let’s stay focused. Hunters dress like normal people, we can see it in their eyes like a grimm, and…they walk like a soldier. What else?”

“They are inquisitive. Like you. They frequent clubs like the one today and they listen to the conversations. That is why the girl is a liability.”

“Oh.” My voice still small as the reality sunk in.

“Yes…”

“But those people come looking for us. They would so easily betray… Nevermind, people are always after their own preservation. I answered my own question. Continue”.

“You lost me…”

“I was going to ask if people like her, that come looking for us, why would they so easily betray us. But, people are always after their own self preservation, so of course they would talk.”

“Not survival, money. And yes, humans betray easily.”

“Same thing. I know all too well what money, drugs and power can do to humans.”

“Once people know what you are they will come to try and gain your favour, gain the gift I have given you.”

“The gift?” My face contorted in confusion.

Angel gave me a poignant look, waiting for me to comprehend his meaning. In a moment of clarity, my eyes widened, “People want to be turned?”

“Yes.”

“Oh… I didn’t realize it was something actually sought after.”

“Humans seek power, revenge, greed… That is why I changed you.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“You didn’t seek any of those things.”

“Oh.”

“That is why I chose you.”

“I…sometimes I want revenge…” I trailed off again, lost in thought.

Angel interrupted my thoughts with concern in his voice. “But it is not your purpose. You didn’t want the gift when you met me. And why would you want revenge?”

“No, I wanted…I wanted a lot of things, but never imagined, this. So they won’t do the things they did to me, to anyone else. To make them pay”

“What do you mean, this?”

“This? Us, for starters. I came seeking repayment for a debt.”

Angel looked totally confused as I gazed at him, both of us deep in thought.. “You owe me nothing, Fen.”

“I do! Oh Angel, my dark prince! I do!” I held his face in my hands as a single tear ran down my cheek.

Angel frowned, pulling me into a hug, letting me weep.

“Didn’t you recognize me that day? I could have sworn I saw it dawn on you who I was.” I pulled back from him, searching his face.

Angel looked into my eyes, searching for familiarity. “Ella, who are you?”

“I..” I swallowed hard. “I am that girl…the one you saved that night. I watched you tear that room apart, for me.” I sat in silence, staring at him as I waited patiently for him to catch up.

His jaw dropped in shock as the words hit him with the reality of how our paths had crossed so many years ago.

“I…I have been looking for you ever since.” I sat, giving him time to process. The memory of that night ever present in my mind. Standing there, in the corner of the club as this flash of a man came in and slaughtered the room full of drug dealers and pimps, leaving me covered in their blood.

As I spoke his eyes lost focus. Clearly sorting through memories to connect my revelation to his own thoughts. “That was you?”

“You saved my life! You gave me life!”

“You? You were that girl? The one innocent I left behind?”

I nodded at him as tears streaked down my face. “I am.”

“Why were you there?” He sat in silence, simply listening as I told him my truth.

I recoiled and looked away. My voice was small as I continued, “I…they….owned me…” I paused, searching for the strength to continue. “You…they’re still more of them out there. I…” The tears finally broke through as my entire body began to shudder. He pulled me back into a hug, letting me fall apart against him. Rage boiled within me as the retaliation I sought burned anew within. I clenched my teeth as I spoke, the anger evident in my tone. “Angel…I want them all dead!”

He leaned back, eyes wide at the shock of my fury. “Ella…”

“I told you I owe you!!! And I told you I wanted retribution!” I sat up, my eyes red with vengeance and bloodlust.

He didn’t move, simply asked me in a calm and steady voice. “Revenge on what?”

“Them!!” I growled.

“Ella, the ones who caused your pain are dead! I made damn sure of that! With my own two hands!” His eyes turned black as he spoke. “They are gone!”

“Not all of them! Not the ones that threw me away. Not the ones that used me and sold me. And most definitely, not the ones that kept me in a gods damn box! You got one room! I have a fucking lifetime of them!”

Angel snapped and let out a primal roar, disappearing in a flash. In the distance, I heard trees smashing as he shredded several trees into splinters in his rage. I knew I needed to at least attempt to calm him down so I concentrated on his location as he had explained to me and teleported to the middle of the forest where I was met with a circle of destruction. 

“Angel!” I stopped dead in front of him, blocking a swing. “This is my fight! This is why I didn’t want to tell you!”

His eyes remained black, with a ragged breath, clearly seething in fury, he growled. “They kept you in a box!!!”

I placed my hands on his chest and nodded once. “That’s why I can’t do a coffin.”

“They kept you in a box! I’m going to find them. And I am going to rip them limb from

limb.”

“Only if I get to strike first! I need to see the life drain from their eyes as they realize who I am!” I growled back. 

“Trust me, Ella.” He took my face in his hands, kissing my forehead then my lips, meeting my gaze. “When we are done, they will never think of touching any child ever again. Because they will be nothing but footnotes in the history of bad mistakes.”

I cocked my head to the side, staring back at him as my eyes turned red, “So the hunt begins?”

“The hunt begins, my love. You will have your revenge. I promise you that.”