Learning Curve

After leaving the club I went out to sit on the balcony, pulling my legs up to my chest. I stared into nothing, lost in thought and frustration when Angel appeared. His face contorted with worry as he approached from behind me. “Fen, my love, why are you angry? What did I do?” He stood behind me and placed a hand on the bench, not breaching my space.

“Why couldn’t I heal her, Angel? I don’t understand. I did the same thing you did,” he exhaled, my brow furrowed as I looked out at the river below.

“I know you did, Fen. But I should have explained. Your blood is mine now. But it is weaker than mine and will be for several years. You will eventually be able to heal…think of it as dilution. It is a weaker version of the base form.”

“You could have told me,” I practically spat, anger seething in my voice. “Instead, I was embarrassed and…” I trailed off, still not looking at him 

“And what, Fenella? I cannot help you if you do not talk to me.”

“You take me to the club, give me these new experiences but not teach me or explain anything to me. Do you expect me to just pick these things up or are you ever going to show me?” I gave him a side glance, more exasperated than mad at this point.

“Of course I’m going to teach you, Fen. How was I to know you were going to try and heal her yourself? You could have asked if it would have worked before you tried. I wasn’t to know you would try to.” He ran his hand through his hair, and turned his gaze out to the river.

“I don’t know, but I had no bearing on the fact that it wouldn’t work. I am completely clueless here and feel like you aren’t telling me anything, Angel. Like I am fumbling around in the dark,” I sighed.

“May I point something out, please?” he asked, calm and polite.

“Of course.” I stretched my legs out in front of me and leaned back against the bench.

“You are the first person I have turned in my life, Fen. You are the first person that made me feel enough to want to turn them. Before you, I was quite content being alone. But now I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so you have to understand – I have never needed to teach someone before. I am learning as I go, just like you. So please, be patient with me.”

I glanced over at him gobsmacked. “I-I am? Why me? I’m no one special. A nothing.” I blinked at him, completely perplexed, as I awaited his reply.

“Why? Why did I turn you…is the answer to that not clear to you yet?”

I shook my head. “No, I have never been treated with such compassion before. I came to you as an offering of gratitude and got a whole new life, literally. My head spins with all the constant changes and emotions I have never felt before. I don’t know how to act. And most of the time, I am overwhelmed with them and the sounds and cravings all at the same time. Help me understand, Angel.” I turned back towards the balcony railing, losing focus in thought and sighed. 

“I turned you because…as odd and as laughable as it would seem to you, I felt something for you when you walked through my door, Fen. I have known you only for a few days, and yet…all I know is I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He paused. “Before you knocked on my door, I was going to sleep the next few centuries away and hope it was better when I woke up. But you…you gave me the hope I needed. You, Fen, you’re the perfect person that vampirism is meant for.”

“Me, perfect? How?” I tilted my head, and gazed at him. “Because I sought repayment or revenge?” I flinched as I let the last word slip out. I quickly turned away.

He continued, seeming to not notice my slip. “You came in here, looking for me. But you didn’t seek power, you didn’t seek a long life, you just wanted freedom. And that was so new to me, it still is. And I wanted to give you that freedom, Fen.” 

“Freedom was something you gave me a long time ago. I came to repay you for that. You saw something else in me and gave me a new life. One I am trying to understand and learn about. Just be honest with me. Let’s learn together. Okay?”

“You have my word, Fen. From here on out, we will find our way through this together, no secrets, learning as we go. Feeding, hunting, fighting…I will teach you it all, but you have to start asking if you want an answer. Just promise me that.”

I nodded in agreement, no longer wanting to fight, and leaned into him. I laid my head on his chest, and with a single finger, began drawing the runes I learned a while back as a means of self-education. He smiled down at me and wrapped me in his arms. 

It was nearing dawn and had been a rather long and emotional night. The nip in the autumn air made me shudder as he kissed my forehead and asked, “Shall we go to bed, where it is a little warmer?” 

“I’d like that, Angel. I feel safe in your arms. Something I have never felt before.” 

He frowned a little at my statement but I tried to ignore it. He lifted me easily, as if I weighed nothing at all, and carried me to the bedroom, kicking the balcony door shut behind us. 

He set me down gingerly and paused, giving me the space to undress myself. I guess he was allowing me to set the boundaries tonight and I loved him all the more for it. He pulled off his clothes and slid under the covers, lifting them for me to join him, no pressure implied.

I climbed in and burrowed myself against him, laying my head in the crook of his arm. I sighed contentedly and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep in his arms.